In the latest installment of TLC’s Jill & Jessa: Counting On, the Duggar women revealed that they may never recover from the pain Josh caused.

“It is shocking, you do not expect something like that to happen,” Jessa Duggar Seewald, who was molested by Josh as a teen, admitted.

“It is your older brother, someone you love and trust and so definitely t was period of time in our family when Josh was not to be trusted.”

Jessa, 23, and her sister, Jill, 24, both put locks on their doors after Josh assaulted them, but said that over the years, they’ve all gotten help.

“We had to go through lots of different steps, complete with counseling,” Jill revealed.

“We have chosen to forgive Josh and that is an important part of our own healing. If we do not forgive then we cannot move on.”

She added that Josh’s recent confession that he was addicted to porn, and that he’d cheated on his wife, made it all the more difficult for Jill to forget her anger.

Although his sisters are trying to reestablish a relationship with Josh, their brother, John-David says that since Josh cheated on Anna, he no longer respects him.

“That’s what it was for me and Josh,” he shared.

Josh Duggar