For a biopic of a superstar like Britney Spears, Lifetime’s Britney Ever After could have taken a variety of different directions, especially considering her numerous reincarnations-most recently a Billboard top 5 album and successful Vegas residency.

Lifetime chose a documentary-style look into some of the most tragic moments of Britney’s life, regardless of whether or not they ever happened.

The pacing leaves you wondering if Britney Ever After had trouble nailing down a firm timeline, or if the jumpiness was a storytelling device gone wrong.

As Britney did not give her approval to the film, it was always unlikely her music would ever get used.

Without her music the biopic relies on the few covers Britney recorded over the years, including an odd moment of “Walking After Midnight” that left much to be desired.

No one ever claimed Britney Spears was an intellectual, but as a businesswoman with a career spanning two decades, she’s clearly not stupid.

The biopic paints Britney as helpless, ignorant, and at times, completely incompetent.

As a Kentwood, LA native, her accent was expected to play its own role, but Britney Ever After turned young Britney into a mouth-gaped-open hick capable of only saying, “y’all!”.

Hopefully, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel took the night off because Britney Ever After came for JT pretty hard.

Britney Spears